Feelings and emotions just happen to us. We cannot rid ourselves of them. All we can do is control the way they influence our lives. The same rule applies to anger. We cannot wish it away but we can manage the way it powers our lives and those around us.
Anger ranges from anything between a mild irritation to a full blown temper tantrum. When we are angry we experience a rush of adrenaline to our veins. Certain people also experience a tightening of the jaw, gnashing of teeth and clenching of fists. These are some of our physical responses to anger. Anger, like any other emotion is neither good nor bad. It’s just there and it’s something we need to deal with. The problem occurs when we find it difficult or impossible to manage or regulate our anger.
Being cool and calm when faced with a storm is imperative especially at the workplace. The equations at an office change daily. One day sees you as the blue eyed boy at work. The next day you may be pulled up for something that isn’t your fault. Everyday brings in its wake new challenges and struggles. We get angry because we decide that certain things are unfair. But then not everything in life is fair.
Managing anger is an indicator of your ability to deal with stress and pressure. Employees have lost promotions because they failed to deal with a crisis in a dignified manner. Managers who fly off the handle when faced with a calamity fail to retain their staff. Nobody likes to work in an organization where tempers are on a short fuse and everybody’s screaming all the time. Marriages disintegrate because of anger issues. Domestic violence is on the rise thanks to this most primitive of all human emotions.
Managing Anger: Desperate situations call for desperate measures. If you find yourself raising your hand each time you feel angry you need to seek help. Now!!!
Managing anger is crucial for your mental and physical well-being. Many experts say that the first step to managing anger is recognizing it as it occurs. When we are angry we need to acknowledge it. Next, we need to understand why we are angry. Is it something that we can control? Has something fallen short of our expectations? Do we feel that something is unfair? Once you take the time to understand the reason for your anger you will be able to see things in a new light. Then all you need to do is to shift the focus away from your anger and concentrate on finding a solution to the problem. By the time you’ve done this you’ll find your anger fading away. What’s more you can give yourself brownie points for tackling the situation without bursting at the seams.
Relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, yoga and meditation have been advocated by many researchers to manage anger. Enrolling in an anger management class is also an option for those who experience violent fits of rage. Expressing feelings and stating needs are good exercises to release pent-up frustrations.
Managing Anger through Assertive Communication: Assertive communication involves sticking to your convictions while communicating without being offensive. When we are angry we say things that we wouldn’t have said otherwise. Many of these things hurt the people who are close to us. You have to learn to convey thoughts without appearing rude and opinionated. Being angry does not give us the right to fire expletives and attack the opposite person. An aggressive communicator will create arguments rather than find solutions. Passive communicators fail to stand up for themselves and come across as weak and timid. An assertive communicator on the other hand will not let himself be bullied nor will bully someone else. Assertiveness is the key to expressing anger in an effective manner. Hence, managing anger through assertive communication has become the need of the hour.
Assertive communication, stress management, anger management, and emotional intelligence skills can be learned in an effective anger management program. Please visit www.ami-tx.com for additional information.
Anger Management Institute of Texas is a certified Anderson & Anderson ® provider.
Anger Management Classes and Anger Management – Executive Coaching available in Houston, Texas.
Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
American Association of Anger Management Providers