Everybody has trials and tribulations. Life takes its toll on all of us at some point of time or the other. We get angry, depressed, frustrated and miserable. Everyday is not a Sunday or a fun day for that matter. But that’s life and the sooner we accept that the better.


Why do I feel angry? The reasons for anger are many and vary from person to person. Perhaps, you feel that you do not get enough credit at work. Maybe, your boss harbors a grudge and seeks every opportunity to reprimand you. Is your relationship stressing you out? Do you suffer from low self-esteem and take it out on your employees? Do you have any unresolved feelings leftover from your childhood?


We feel angry because we have expectations. We expect that we’ll have high-flying careers, empathetic supervisors, competent employees and supportive partners. And then when things don’t go according to our master plan we become frustrated and angry.


How Can I manage my anger?

  • Accept the situation that you’re in. Avoidance of accepting circumstances will not help in dealing with reality.
  • Try focusing on the positive things in your life like your family and friends, career, talents and your spouse or partner. Remember that you have everything that you need even though you might not have everything you desire.
  • Consciously make an effort to stay calm by either tackling the situation later or counting to ten or even twenty before you react.
  • Always make it a point never to raise your hand or resort to violence to resolve a problem. Treat others the way you would want them to treat you.
  • Expressing feelings in a positive manner paves the path to open communication and alleviates unnecessary stress and anger.
  • Deep breathing helps you experience a feeling of calm and serenity.
  • Try to postpone thinking of the situation or person that made you angry and do something to distract yourself from negative thoughts. Thinking about the problem some time after it takes place throws a new light altogether.
  • Many experts advocate writing your angry thoughts and feelings on paper and then tearing or burning it up. Be as graphic as possible. This will help release your frustration and anger.
  • Talk to a friend or a neutral party who does not have anything to do with the problem at hand. Opening up to a close friend helps lightening the moment and putting you in a good mood.
  • Attempt to see the humor in the situation. Making light of the situation dilutes the anxiety and pressure associated with it.
  • If all else fails, enroll at a local Anger Management Class. Speaking with people facing anger management issues shows that you’re not alone and that there are several people going through the same thing that you are.


Can Emotional Intelligence help to manage my Anger? Developing emotional intelligence is of utmost importance in managing and controlling anger. Many anger management classes teach participants to develop emotional intelligence to deal with anger. Emotional intelligence involves recognizing, understanding and accepting emotions to deal with them in a positive manner. If a person develops a substantial degree of emotional intelligence he can come to terms with anger and control his reactions and responses to it. Emotional intelligence also involves understanding the emotions and feelings of others. The next time you feel angry with someone try to understand what prompts him to behave in a manner that offends you. Comprehending the feelings of others is a stepping stone to achieving emotional intelligence and managing anger.


Anger Management Institute of Texas is a certified Anderson & Anderson ® provider.


Anger Management Classes and Anger Management – Executive Coaching available in Houston, Texas.


Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
American Association of Anger Management Providers


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